i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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