I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
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mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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