And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
