It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
