At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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