We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
