A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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