I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
