I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
