no you cant smoke seaweed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
