So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
