sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
