Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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