'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
