So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
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I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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