Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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