You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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