That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
