that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
