Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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