My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
