dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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