ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
