I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize