his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize