He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
