Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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