There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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