Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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