Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
