I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
