talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
