He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
