Pants 0. Shit 1.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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