Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I think people are normalizing furries
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My vagina just clenched in fear
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
