I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My liver just had a heart attack.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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