I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Found your dick twin last night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
