help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
