i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
