wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sorry about my life...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
