we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
