Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
