I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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