your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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