If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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