respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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