So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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