So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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