You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
