Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
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I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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