i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize