so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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