I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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