if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
