hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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