Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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