You just made me feel so damn special
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
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I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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